As I walked in I was greeted by a dude I used to work bar with at Peddlars, he had an earpiece and was dressed in full black, like a member of the Secret Service Of Fine Dining. This pretty much set the tone for the evening. Everything was super slick and ran like clockwork. The second thing I noticed was the size of the room. It is small, or rather, there is limited seating. I think there were only five tables in the room, one two seater,  three standard, and two double. This makes for a great dining experience. You only have to slightly look away from your table and someone is there to make sure you have what you need. It also makes it pretty intimate, so if you’re looking for a great date idea, this will most certainly do.

The experience starts straight away, one of the great things about a set menu. We started off with bubbles, and then came the food. One course after the other, each one as unbelievable as the previous. There isn’t much point in me telling you what we had, because it’s constantly changing, and is actually supposed to be a bit of a surprise. I can tell you that the presentation is fascinating. One of the dishes arrived under glass, literally trapping the most amazing smells. Another with a pestle and mortar and instructions to crush your own food, which made it all quite interactive. The tastes, textures, and themes of it all varied extensively. You really could not guess what you were getting next.

Then there was the wine. Now, I’ll be the first to tell you, I’m no foodie or wine connoisseur, it just seems so time consuming, and I’ve refused to study anything since I left second year varsity for the world of advertising, but I can tell when something is good. More importantly, I can tell when you will like something, and I’ll tell you what, of all the food and wine paring experiences I’ve had, this is by far the best in terms of the wine choices. The wines will change, as will the food, but I’ve been told they are selected from a cellar that would give any of you wine aficionados a heart attack. They even included sake in the offering. The choices were different, and they changed up nicely. It made the whole experience more enjoyable.

That’s all I can write about the food, seriously. It’s all a surprise! You don’t want to ruin that do you? No. Take it from me, at R610pp (including wine) it’s a no brainer. And when you’re done with the delicious, you’re already half way up to Tjing Tjing. I could tell you about what happens after a night up there, but it’s probably safer to leave it here.

Contact and booking details here.

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The fish circle the tank, and you move with them, just slower, which means you get to see all of them from incredibly close. The rays seem to like gliding just above your head, and the sharks…well, the sharks don’t seem to give a toss, they swim as close as you want and you move aside or drop to the floor if they get too close.

Unfortunately I couldn’t hold the camera out, as the sharks are hand fed from a stick, which makes me shooting like that a bit risky. Strapped to my head the cam picked up a lot of bubbles, but this should give you a good enough idea of what you can expect if you go for a dive at the Two Oceans Aquarium, which I highly suggest you do. It also reminded me just how quickly I was breathing.

Check out the Two Oceans Aquarium website to find out about the dive. You’ll dive with Ian, the most awesome dive instructor. Ever.

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BEAST is a band that I’ve seen twice now, and no disrespect to the band, but I’ve never quite been able to figure out why people love them as much as they do. The reason I say that is very simple, they’re one of the most frantic, energetic and captivating acts I’ve seen on stage and although the performance is always stellar, I couldn’t hear the way that they wanted to sound . Now, maybe my ears aren’t that great and that’s why I’ve missed this trick, but the bonafide supergroup from Cape Town has made a mess of my head today

Their debut, Smoke Swig Swear, will take your brain, smash it around, tidy it up again and shove it back into your skull through your aural cavities. Then when you turn it off, you’ll think a little differently of what bands can and can’t do.

The band consists of Inge Beckmann on vocals, Rian Zietsman, Louis Nel – both on bass, and Sasha Righini on the drums. The birth of the band stems from Taxi Violence members, Rian and Louis, who wondered what a band with two basses would sound like. I will take this opportunity to tell you what it sounds like, basically, it sounds like an ass kicking. (And what can better describe the sound of rock and roll other than some good, old fashioned fisticuffs?)

Beckmann’s vocals add some incredible notes, screeches, and squeals to the mix and Righini’s drumming is as brutal and infectious as watching the two bassists jumping around on stage. I didn’t expect this album to sound as rad as it does. Not because I didn’t think the members were up to it, but just because when I’ve seen them live, I couldn’t hear the little things which transform the songs from their demented on stage versions to their more mature, every day listening covers.

The record is well recorded, free to download here, and I would highly recommend you give a spin. It’s an intense offering, certainly not for background music while sitting around the lounge chilling; it’s more of a “stick it in your headphones and walk for days while bopping like an asshole” type of record. The melodies are great, the rhythms tight and even though I’ve never been the biggest Lark fan in the world, Inge’s vocals are MUCH more to my taste when she’s fronting BEAST.

People who know me will know how confused I used to leave BEAST shows, just because it’s so brutal, so fast and so full of energy that I couldn’t get to the heart of the matter. Come to think of it, that might be the entire point behind BEAST, but without an album to compare it to; their live shows always left me a little dubious. I am stoked to admit that it’s all different now though, this album has changed my perception of the band, and I for one can’t wait for the next BEAST show. I’m buying the hype, I’m selling my doubts, and this dude, will abide.

You can find the band on Twitter, SoundCloud, YouTube and Facebook.

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The band consists of Rob Davidson and Andre Pienaar (Ashtray Electric) who decided that an adventure into the pop arena was worth exploring. I am pretty stoked they did, because as far as debut records go, this is a really good one. Never mind the fact that the record came to fruition when they didn’t even live in the same city, a la The Postal Service, but the result of this less-than-ideal process is incredible.

The songs are well layered, and the record has obviously been put together very consciously. This might sound a little obvious, but it’s not. The reason I say that they’ve really thought about the album is because I’ve just finished listening to it for the second time and I’ve realised that I am going to struggle to turn this off. What Moving House accomplishes on this record is that they’ve managed to write an undeniably pop oriented record, but it’s the sum of its parts, and not reliant on just one or two singles, kind of the way a certain band, Pulp, used to do things.

That is a very big comparison, I realise that, but that is what I think about when I hear this record. It’s a constructed, very little happened by accident, and picking a highlight is incredibly difficult, because there are numerous stand outs. I will say this, “When and Why” is one of the best album closers I’ve heard in a while. I’m a big fan of the journey one goes on while listening to a record and this record is going to be the soundtrack to many of my upcoming journeys.

That, to me, is the biggest test for any band. Make a record, not a single, and if you can get me tapping my feet and hitting repeat on a number of songs straight off the bat, you’ve done pretty damn well.

Moving House’s debut consists of well-written pop music, fantastic vocals and lyrics, as you would expect from Pienaar, but what I like most of all, is the feeling it gives me. It’s a record that demands your attention and your respect, because I can hear all of the effort that’s gone into making a really, really good pop record. My recommendation is that you go and buy it right now on iTunes, and I say “recommendation” but I really mean “instruction.”

Check them out here.
Download the album here.

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Secondly, how THE HELL did Karl Urban hold his mouth in such an awkward and impossible to maintain downward frown for so long? Seriously, I can’t even tell you what happened in the majority of the movie because I couldn’t stop staring at the frown, waiting for it to change. I know Dredd is not a happy guy, but the bizarreness of Karl’s mouth was completely ridiculous. Here, take a look.

Bizarre.

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There seems to be a trend of broken heroes, we want to see them vulnerable. I’m not talking about getting caught and strapped to a table and threatened with a cutting laser. I’m talking emotional and physical vulnerability on a very real level. Just look at the last two Batman movies – especially The Dark Knight Rises. We want that moment of doubt, ‘will our hero get out of this alive? Is the bad guy actually going to win‘, and a part of us, no matter how small, wants the hero to lose. We’ve watched them win since we’ve watched movies, and they’ve always done it with relative ease. That’s not how the world works, we know that and we want something more realistic.

To deliver that though, we need great villains. Forget the evil laughs and fantastic props or outfits. We want blood chilling masterminds. Ruthless men/women with believable agendas, and a mind perhaps a fraction quicker than our heroes. The new Bond villain, Javier Bardem (No Country For Old Men), absolutely nails the part. As far as villains go, this man does not disappoint. At times his plans are a bit transparent, but overall he’s great. Because of him though, I could not stop comparing Skyfall to The Dark Knight Rises, or even The Dark Knight.

Bane and The Joker are my benchmarks right now. I know it’s unfair to compare everything in this genre to those two films, but let’s be honest, when last did you see villains as convincing. To be honest, as much as I enjoyed the new Bond – and I enjoyed it thoroughly, I thought it fell short in a few areas. It was sometimes just a little too easy. Almost as if it deviated from the dark and more realistic path the previous two had set. It dipped it’s toes, every now and then, into the old Bond pool, the one surrounded by a lazy unquestioning audience, happy to flounder in cheap one-liners and transparent plots. Then again, that is Bond and I don’t suppose I should forget that. He gets the girl, he drops bad one liners, and he always looks good. And that is why we love him.

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On a basic review side, in Skyfall we learn more about the man and set up the franchise for a new beginning, it basically brings us right up to the current Bond we all know, the one from years ag0, if that makes any sense. It’s action packed and as usual the stunts are great. The new Bond Girl doesn’t last too long, which is fortunate because she does the most unfortunate things with her mouth. There is one gadget (besides a brief throwback to the Bond flicks of yesterfar), and it’s relatively brand free, besides a very odd placement of Heineken. As a whole it’s awesome and if you’re a Bond fan there is absolutely no way you can miss this.

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I’d heard a lot about Monk’s, via Twitter, but it’s taken me this long to try out. The logo had me hooked from the get go, but I’m generally quite skeptical of anything that is suddenly loved by everyone (which is why it took me two years to watch District 9, and why I still haven’t seen Invictus), which is why it took me this long. I couldn’t hold out any longer. The noise around Monk’s was just too much. And I’ll tell you what, I’m bloody glad I tried it out.

The crispy duck pancakes seem to be their signature dish, the one that’s talked about most, so obviously I ordered that. To go with it we ordered the Vegetable Spring Rolls, Seaweed Salad with Garlic & Sesame, and the Shredded Pork with Garlic, Ginger & Chilli. All of the above was incredible, and the portion sizes are typically Chinese – big. Cost wise you’re paying more than if you sat in a restaurant, but there is no delivery fee, so it all works out well in the end. And as I said, the portions are big. Natalie and I had last night, added some to our breakfast, and just finished it off for lunch.

The whole process was simple and hassle free. The team seems small and very keen on good service – it all feels very personal. All you do is visit their site (here), choose your number, then phone it in. You can pay with cash or your card (which means you never have to worry about getting off the couch), and the delivery time is pretty damn quick.

Try them out. I vouch for them. And just to be clear, this is not a paid for post, before you trolls jump in. They are just that good.

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There are few things as exciting as knowing that you’ll be seeing one of your favourite bands live, and recently (read “a while ago now”) I was lucky enough to get to do just that. The Eagles of Death Metal jumped a big ol’ metal bird and made their way down to the southern tip of Africa for Oppikoppi, luckily, they came to say hi in Cape Town as well.

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One Night in Cape Town was presented by Hilltop Live and with a lineup consisting of 90% of Oppikoppi’s international acts, supported by local heroes, Van Coke Kartel, it really was a pretty fantastic way to spend a public holiday. We made our way to the Grand West Arena for some day time rock & roll and I am very happy to say that I was very impressed.

(I’ll just get this out of the way now, I left after Eagles of Death Metal, for no other reason that none of the other bands really appeal to me, and I couldn’t really give you a fair assessment of what went down because of that.)

So let’s start at the beginning. Van Coke Kartel came out to a pretty empty Arena, but that didn’t stop them rocking the hell out. I’ve not seen them in quite some time and I was very impressed by how tight they are, and what a fantastic element Jedd gives to their live shows. The guys didn’t miss a beat, and playing in such a tough slot, I was thoroughly impressed with their set, they played the songs I knew, they played some I didn’t, and they played them all at 110%, there really isn’t much more a band can do, mooi so ouens.

After VCK Kongos took the stage and the local, turned international, band may not be to my taste, but I can say this, they’re tight on stage. It’s a hard thing to keep the attention of those in the crowd who aren’t fans of your music, or those who don’t know your music, but Kongos basslines sorted that out, quick snap. They have some foot-stompers, that is for damn sure. I missed the last bit of the Kongos set though, but only because I had a meet and greet with those Eagles of Death Metal.

Now, I am not good at meeting people I admire, and let’s face it, Boots Electric (Jesse Hughes from EODM) is unquestionably someone I admire. His brand of stripped down, fun, fast and frantic rock and roll is so far up my alley, we may as well be neighours. As it turns out, he’s a pretty rad guy too, the entire band actually comprises of friendly dudes.

The meet and greet started a little awkwardly, but as soon as the cooler box full of Miller’s was brought it, the mood lifted, everyone went into “normal human” mode and we stood around, chatted about being in Africa and took some photos. Photos in which I wish I had taken more care to not look fucking stupid, but hey, I did say I was bad at meeting people I admire.

After hanging out with the guys for about half an hour we made our way back the Arena, and EODM took the stage. It wasn’t long after they took the stage that they destroyed it. They came, they saw, they conquered. It was fast, bright, loud and Hughes’ enthusiasm was infectious, everyone was smiling, he was constantly gushing about how much he loved the crowd (who by the fourth song were losing their minds) and I don’t think there was anyone present who didn’t enjoy the show.

As I said, I did a ninja after the EODM, so can’t comment on the rest of the night, but my goodness, I don’t know how anything was going to top that day. So I don’t see it as missing out, I see it as quitting while I was ahead.

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So here we go, what, who, Why? Remember that dreamy video with the psychedelic hip hoppers, cLOUDDEAD? Well, if you don’t, here’s a refresher. I remember cruising around PE listening to that album a lot, it was mad (still is), it was trippy, ballsy, and sounded like nothing else I’d ever heard. It made me realise that hip-hop is just about guns, bitches and bling. Why? was one of the founding members of cLOUDDEAD, and once that project ran its course, he ventured into solo territory.

The cLOUDDEAD album frightened me a little in the beginning, Why? did not, not even slightly. The first album I listened to was Alopecia and as soon as the lyrics started, I was hooked. “I’m not a ladies man, I’m a landmine” and I think that is a fair statement from a very talented artist. The album flows brilliantly and speaking from experience, it’s a great place to start your affair with Why?

Why? started as a one man project, more specifically, it started as Yoni Wolf’s solo effort, but as his ideas expanded, so did the band. Their first album, Oaklandazulasylum, may not be to everyone’s taste (hence me recommending you start with Alopecia), but I fucking love it. It’s offbeat, lo-fi, and just one of the most peculiarly gorgeous albums I’ve heard. The sound of the band has evolved hugely since Oaklandazulasylum, and Alopecia, Elephant Eyelash, and Eskimo Snow all complement each other brilliantly as you work your way through the discography.

Folk, indie, hip hop, monotone vocals and toe-tapping beats make Why? one of the most original bands I’ve heard in ages. Their music spans so many genres it hurts, but it’s none the weaker for it, it makes for a listening journey that is diverse, sincere and enjoyable.

The latest offering, Mumps, etc. is just another step in the Why? evolution and it’s certainly headed in the right direction. I can gush about how quirky, yet listenable, his lyrics are. I can shout about how clever and poignant many of the one liners are, but that’s all for nothing if you don’t go an listen to it. So, instead of my writing about it, I’ll let the music speak for itself.

Here are my five favourite Why? songs, and make no mistake, picking a favourite Why? song is like picking your favourite Seinfeld episode. It’s all fucking great, and deserves your attention; after all, Mumps, etc. may just be the album of 2012, and for me to say that about a hip hop album says a lot.

Why? – The Vowels Pt.2

Why? – These few presidents

Why? – This Blackest Purse

Why? – Song of the Sad Assassin

Why? – Crushed Bones

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For R150 for two courses, or R170 for three it’s pretty hard to go wrong, especially if you go with someone (which I assume you would) and share the three courses. That way you get a taste of everything. I went for the calamari, starter, though I have been told the ravioli is the best of the three (the beetroot put me off). You can’t go wrong with either of the mains (my fish was superb). Wine wise, you’d be silly not to have the Paradyskloof Pinot Noir (at R240 it’s silly). For a white we had the Haute Cabriere Chardonnay Pinot Noir (very scrummy). I didn’t have the lemon tart, which in hindsight was the worst mistake of Monday.

You have until the end of the month to take advantage of this. I suggest you do.

Call to book - 021 418 4744

It’s a pleasure.

Nash…
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