Rapper on Rapper Gun Violence Is Back as Suge Knight Refuses To Snitch After Being Shot 6 Times at VMAs

Rapper on Rapper Gun Violence Is Back as Suge Knight Refuses To Snitch After Being Shot 6 Times at VMAs

I can’t tell you guys how happy I am. Remember a while ago when I wrote about how weak rappers beef is now days. Justin Beiber spitting on fans, punks throwing champagne bottles around VIP rooms, and most recently, 50 Cent calling out boxers on their reading ability. That shit is weak. If Tupac or Biggie were still around they would have beaten Fiddy to death with a Harry Potter book, not challenged him to a reading contest. Well, I have good news, according to TMZ Suge Knight, who was recently shot SIX TIMES at a VMA party, is refusing to snitch. While many of todays ‘new school’ would have reverted to Twitter, calling out bitches and threatening people from the comfort of their hotel penthouses, Suge Knight has kept it street. Snitches wind up in ditches, and Suge ain’t no snitch. He’s getting his house in order. Letting his wounds heal. Rounding up his posse – who are right now filing the serial numbers off a few 45’s and securing an appropriate drive-by vehicle.

Matt Damon Pours Toilet Water Over His Head. Highlights The Worlds Greatest Issue – Vertical Videos

Matt Damon Pours Toilet Water Over His Head. Highlights The Worlds Greatest Issue – Vertical Videos

I realise that by posting about the Ice Bucket Challenge I am acknowledging it, and therefore making it real in my life. It’s been pretty hard to ignore though, this cause for a acronym that no one has ever heard of or knows anything about. Also, I see the girls of Playboy did one, which has taken a lot of restraint not to watch, because I know it’ll be slutty and shit and American, and I’ll feel the same way I feel after eating McDonalds on a hanover – a sort of self loathing satisfaction. Anyway,  three weeks into this madness and we’ve devolved from pouring a basic bucket of cold water over our heads, to dousing ourselves in water from the same hole we shit into. Look, I know Matt Damon is trying to do a good thing here. Instead of ignoring the Ice Bucket Challenge and carrying on with the philanthropic work he is already doing, he’s trying to show all his celebrity pals and every other fuckbag with a camera and the skills needed to upload a video to Facebook that they’re actually all focusing on the wrong issue and that his cause is actually the most important.

Well I’m here to tell you that everyone is focusing on the wrong issue. Forget about what this says about us and our overriding need to post our stupid faces to any platform available to us, our vanity covered in the thinest of ‘charitable’ veils. Forget about the people with ALS. Forget about the people with no drinking water. What we need to address is the very real issue of people shooting video vertically. It’s 2014 and the person charged with capturing one of Hollywoods biggest stars pouring toilet water over his head can’t even turn their phone sideways.
Continue …

Champagne Coupe Moulded From Kate Moss’ Left Breast

Champagne Coupe Moulded From Kate Moss’ Left Breast

Basically, life can end now. Kate Moss has finally been recognised as a god. Or an alien, if the thought of there being any other god other than yours offends you. It doesn’t matter, when the world celebrates a champagne coupe crafted from the mould of your left breast, you are clearly not one of us. ‘Taking Marie Antoinette as her inspiration, whose left breast was said to have served as the model for the first Champagne coupe in the late-18th century, British artist Jane McAdam Freud crafted the coupe from a mould of Moss’ left breast.’ Full story here.

Sweet Deals

The Future Is Now. Dog The Bounty Hunter Is Hunting War Machine

The Future Is Now. Dog The Bounty Hunter Is Hunting War Machine

It’s not often that one gets the chance to use a headline like that and be serious about it. We watch movies like The Fifth Element, Waterworld, Mad Max, and The Matrix, and wonder if people in the future will sport wild hairstyles, decorate themselves with bizarre jewelry, make a living from fighting in a cage, and give themselves names like Tank, Thunderbolt, or Blade. We never think we’ll see it happen. Not in real life. Except we will, because it’s happening right now. The sci-fi future we thought we’d never see. Right now, in 2014, there is a man named Dog The Bounty Hunter tracking down a fugitive of the law named War Machine.
Continue …

Fuck The World Cup

Fuck The World Cup

There, I said it. I hate the world cup. I didn’t used to. I used to just not care a damn about it. Now I hate it based on two things; Jennifer Lopez, and Pitbull. Long before I hated The World Cup, I hated opening ceremonies. I mean, come on! How shit are they, every time. It’s like we all forget we live in the modern world of cool shit, and pretend to like song and dance performances, and people hopping about like village idiots, as if we were in the goddamn dark ages. Or junior school. Performance dance is shit, especially in Brazil, where apparently it’s impossible to stay in formation or step to a beat. It’s even worse when you add Jennifer Lopez and the number one person in the world I’d like to hit in the face repeatedly with a large wrench, Pitbull. There was one plus to this years World Cup opening ceremony though, which I didn’t watch, except for this clip showing the stage that Jennifer and a horrendously dressed Pitbull were performing on malfunction. Which was the best part, obviously. I’ve also included a gallery of Fernanda Useler in a football shirt and bikini bottoms, because that’s what my World Cup is about.
Continue …

Bill Murray Gives Speech At Bachelor Party

Bill Murray Gives Speech At Bachelor Party

There are only a few things I really want in life. One of them is to be trapped in a small town by a natural disaster, either in the snowy mountains, or on the coast. Nothing hectic, just the roads in and out blocked. Another is to befriend a talking dog. That’s actually probably my number one thing that I want. Not a dickhead dog though (like you get those!). I would like Robert to temporarily suspend his sobriety for 24 to 48 hours in celebration of Charlie Sheen’s birthday, and I’d like to run into both of them that night. I’d like one of my parents to write a song or do something amazing enough for me to live off the royalties for the rest of my life, you know, modestly. I don’t need a flashy car or anything, just to never really work again. Second to the dog though, I’d love to have a beer with Bill Murray, which some dude just did. Bill happened to be at the same bar as this dudes bachelor party, and said a few words, which were actually pretty awesome. I can’t wait to be old and awesome and dishing out advice like this to kids who know nothing. Man, he is the best.
Continue …

Sweet Deals

Earlier posts >

Advertisements

top1
middle1
middle3
bottom2
bottom1