The Time We Got Towed 600km From Mozambique

The Time We Got Towed 600km From Mozambique

We first heard the noise coming from what sounded like the gearbox of our borrowed Defender as we pulled out of Dullstroom at 4am, our destination point, the 4×4 beach camp in Pomene, Mozambique, some 1,200KM away. By the time we reached Komatipoort the decision had been made to get a mechanics opinion before going further. The backyard tradesman we found was little help, and after several hours of head scratching and phone calls to colleagues, all he could do was grease up the working bits and send us on our way. The noise came and went for the next few hundred kilometres but we made it to Pomene with no further issues other than our mounting paranoia. Our return trip was a little different.

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Seriously, Africa, Why Have You Not Killed Any of The Clifton Shores Chicks Yet?

Seriously, Africa, Why Have You Not Killed Any of The Clifton Shores Chicks Yet?

About two minutes into the vomit fest that is the promo edit for the new season of Clifton Shores, I couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck has happened to Africa. When did it become so safe. The promo shows these girls doing just about everything that can kill you in South Africa. From riding elephants, to game drives, to abseiling, to waking up and walking down the street. How in Darwin’s name did none of them die while here? Seriously, I’m surprised one of them hasn’t killed themselves while brushing their newly bleached teeth. Surely one of them got out to touch a lion, or fell off Table Mountain while taking a selfie. Perhaps they have backups waiting in the cheaper hotel rooms, for one of the leads to choke on her gum so they can get their fifteen minutes. Harden up Africa. Also, fuck you Quinton for bringing this crap to our shores. There are perfectly good, and far better looking, struggling models all over Cape Town.
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Friday Morning Wake Up: The Ultimate Sonar Playlist

Friday Morning Wake Up: The Ultimate Sonar Playlist

Do you remember that old banking ad (I think it was a banking ad), when the chick bumps her head in the morning, then burns her toast, then shocks herself, etc. It was all about starting your day off on the wrong foot. There were probably some banking messages in there too, but who pays attention to those. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is, I’m exactly like that in the morning, except with music. The first choice of the day often dictates my mood, which is why I no longer listen to the radio. If you’re human and have ears, you’re probably the same, which is why I want you to start your day off with this – The Ultimate Sonar Playlist by Olmeca Tequila. This won’t just start your Friday off properly, it’ll start your weekend off.
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Sweet Deals

The Maboneng Triangle of Choice

The Maboneng Triangle of Choice

It seems fitting that I’m writing this on my phone while parked in the basement of my apartment block in Maboneng. I’m using the car charger to keep my phone alive so that I can do some work while I wait for the movers to arrive. Today I leave Maboneng, and I say this scenario is fitting because on the day I moved in, I had no power, in fact, I had no power for the first few days. This little coincidence made something abundantly clear to me. Life in┬áMaboneng is based on a triangle of choice, and I feel any of you considering a move to the district should be made aware of it.
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Sweet Deals

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