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Written by Nash
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Wednesday, 17 December 2008 00:00 |
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a sign of good things to come. I’m not quite sure where you were yesterday, I tried calling. Did you forget about the Mainstay Summer Session at Llandudno? What a moron. The below pic will give you a fraction of an idea of what you missed.  That’s pretty much what we had to put up with yesterday. That and the beautiful boys and girls of Cape Town. Obviously to get the whole feeling of what you missed you would have to have a delicious cocktail in one hand, a prawn in the other, the sun on your skin, and a beach in front of you whilst a DJ worked his magic in the background, and your posse talked shit around you. All this was set up by Mainstay and organised by the guys who did Rocking The Daisies (the toilets were fine this time). There was no cover charge. All you had to do was SMS your name to a number and BOOM, you plus one on the list. Once in you paid for nothing. Free food and booze. But let’s get into that a bit. By food I mean, sushi, calamari steak, prawns, etc, etc. And by booze I mean any cocktail you could think of. Mainstay has, and always will, play an important part in my life as well as the lives of many of my posse members. I think I speak for all of us when I say we are extremely glad Mainstay is making a comeback. Wouldn’t it be great to get back to the “you can stay as you are for the rest of your life, or you can change to Mainstay” days? Obviously not back to that payoff line but, you know, the highlife vibe. I’ll tell you for free that Mainstay is definitely back on the right track. You can check it out for yourself at the third, and final, Summer Session tomorrow night – 18th. All you need to do is go HERE, or SMS stay18 and your name and surname to 31497. I am most certainly looking forward to spending a summer with Mainstay if this is how they are going to roll. All aboard the cane train! |
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Written by Nash
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Wednesday, 10 December 2008 00:00 |
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it's a ticket giveaway! Hello darling, I have something very special for you today. Remember I told you about Goldfish last week? More specifically, Goldfish’s Submerged Sundays at La Med. Remember? Sundays are the new Saturdays? Ring a bell? Maybe THIS will help. That’s right, that happened. And it’s happening again, and again, and again, till the end of February. Every week will be a little different from the previous, so you really don’t want to miss any. This is what you can expect this Sunday, the 14th.  Phenomenal. Now, before I give you the good news, like that wasn’t good enough, let’s have a look at what went down last week… .jpg "Goldfish at La Med - last Sunday...") .jpg "Goldfish - Live at La Med last week...")
Absolute madness! Check that chick in the front. Could she be having a better time? And the oaks on the right? Fuck, check the entire crowd. LO. VING. IT! I also like to play a game with that picture called “spot the hot chick”. I count 35. So you might have missed it, but that’s ok. Just make sure you don’t miss this week. To make it easier for you I have five, that’s 5, DOUBLE tickets for you. That’s one for you and one for the hot chick you have been after for the past two weeks. Don’t tell her you won them. Just tell her you are on the list for Goldfish, at La Med. Tell he you don’t “do” entrance fees. All you need to do for a set of tickets, and the inevitable sexual favour from whom ever you take, is email your name and the name of the new Goldfish album to me –
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Could it be any easier? I doubt it. The draw will take place on Saturday, leaving you plenty of time to get your shit together. Not that it will affect your plans for Sunday. I mean, you are going to La Med regardless. Good luck. |
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Written by Nash
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Friday, 05 December 2008 00:00 |
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this Sunday. I have an urgent and very important announcement, and I need you to stop what you are doing and pay attention… GOOOOLDFIIIIIIISH! Sorry, I watched a bit of Anchorman last night and now Will Ferrell is on repeat in my head. Back to my important message. Cape Town, this weekend, will be the number one place to be, in the world - FACT. According to a recent survey done around the world, EVERYONE wants to be in Cape Town this weekend. Given a choice of any city, on any continent, or island, 98% of the Earths population picked Cape Town as their destination of choice. When asked “why”, they all made the exact same expression that one would assume meant “are you smoking crack you absolute fucknut”, before all answering "Goldfish at La Med". It has been confirmed that Goldfish at La Med is exactly what you are missing from your life. It’s going to fill the void in your life. I’ll let the flyer break it down for you.  Its ok baby, read it again, this time breath. Are you ok? Good. Well you may want to sit down for this next bit, straight from Dom’s mouth… “We are starting our Submerged Sundays on Dec 7th and continuing every Sunday through till the end of Feb. We have moved from Ignite (which as you know has been closed) and continuing at La Med. Seriously, we aren't fucking about, we're bringing in a Sushi Bar from Tank Restaurant in Green Point, a special Cosmopolitan VIP area for the ladies, serious Visuals and Lighting, plus all the top SA DJ's before and after the show. Sunday is going to be the new Saturday in Cape Town this summer...." Can you handle that? I can’t even stand up right now. La Med. Sunday. Goldfish. Nuff said. |
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Written by Nash
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Tuesday, 02 December 2008 00:00 |
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sushi no longer safe. I was lucky enough to witness nature in its rawest form the other night, at the CTFM in Steenberg. Some guy brought his shark along for a date but forgot to tell her that all the sushi served at CTFM is actually dead. Let’s have a look. MUST have sound! Jesus! That chick attacked that Californian roll. Did you see her rush it first before she actually ate it? Like a shark circling a lost seal pup, slowly taunting it, working it into a dazed frenzy, then striking with a sudden, deadly force, breaching the cool waters of False Bay with the doomed seal locked in her deadly jaws. 
Spicy Salmon Hand Roll - another victim of the CTFM killer...
Sorry, I got a bit lost in the moment. Seriously though, the Goose and I couldn’t take our eyes of this chick. I tried to capture a few more attacks, some of which were way more intense and aggressive than the one you just watched. I’ve named her Eleanor, noted her identifying marks and recorded her location into my captain’s log. Her hunger should be satisfied for a few days, but she will need to feed again, and that’s when I’ll catch her – the sushi killer. Obviously I’ll need a bigger boat, a shark cage, a few barrels to attach to the harpoon line and a gas tank I can chuck into her mouth and shoot, you know, just in case none of the other stuff works. Cape Town will be busy this season and the last thing we want is a sushi killer on the loose. We do not want sushi restaurants closing their bars to patrons. Someone needs to hunt this murderer down. I volunteer. Now who is with me? It will be dangerous but the rewards will be worth it. Safe sushi bars for all! |
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Written by Nash
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Monday, 24 November 2008 00:00 |
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takes hold of Cape Town. What the hell is going on? I leave you for a weekend and you all lose your fucking minds. Were you all on Tik whilst I was away? As you know I spent the weekend in Paarl, but I’ll tell you about that a little later. I need to clear up an issue first. It’s quite serious, and I need you to pay attention, questions will be asked later. On my way back from Paarl, I was hit with the following three numberplates. 
Is that what he thinks he has? The thing EVERYONE is looking for? The winning ingredient in every reality performance show? In a Lexus? Chrrist, I doubt it. 
Is his name Norton or is he a bad boy? What really completes this number plate is the car. BRRRRIGHT yellow rrrrims (as they say on the flats) complete an all together interesting look. I’m sure the cherries ssshmak thet kaa. The 1 scares me a bit. Either he is the NORTY 1, as in person, or there is another NORTY numberplate out there. 
Obviously the first thing that pops into mind is Top Gun, possibly one of the coolest movies EVER, but only for a second. That image is quickly replaced with this one… 
A yellow cat with a top hat and a jacket that would go down well in Bronx. Not exactly the look the guy is going for, I am sure. With a car like that there is no reason for a number plate like that. It’s not going to get the owner any more blowjobs than he would otherwise get if he had a normal plate. It may, however, decrease his chances of ever getting that coked up blonde into his car. It reminds me of a plate I once checked on an awesome car which read…PLAYA. God, how embarrassing would it be to drive around in a car with the number plate PLAYA. I would die! Anyway, let’s get back on topic. I was only gone for three days, and returned to the above carnage. What’s worse is all of those were spotted on the way back from Paarl. I didn’t drive around looking for these. It didn’t take me days to find them. I literally drove right into them. Are people in Cape Town losing their minds? Are we losing our distinctly trendy edge? Were you all playing a little trick on me? Everyone should know about number plates, it’s common knowledge. Christ, it’s simple. Just don’t do it. |
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