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Written by Nash
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Monday, 15 December 2008 00:00 |
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as he says goodbye to the Aaa-rabs. This is possibly one of the funniest videos you will see in your life. Bush’s recent surprise visit to Iraq has now lost all credibility as no one cares what it is about. No one will remember why he went, and I doubt anyone even cares. All they will remember about his trip to Iraq is that some dude tried to assassinate Bush with his Arab loafers, which are like Italian loafers, except for the pointy front. Apparently showing the soles of your shoes to someone is a sign of contempt in the Arab culture. It will not, however, kill someone. Unless you struck them in the temple. You could probably kill someone like that. Like, if you really hit them hard. Anyway, Iraqi television journalist Muntadar al-Zaidi shouted “this is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog!” then chucked his shoe at Bush. Unfortunately Bush has, which surprised me for some reason, surprisingly quick reflexes and ducked out of the way. On the second throw, the journalist shrieked “This is for the widows and orphans and all those killed in Iraq!” His second shoe got a little closer, but Bush being the wily hillbilly he is ducked out of the way again. Muntadar was then tackled and probably severely beaten in a backroom before being kicked out a back door, into the dusty Arabian road, spat at and told he was a “dog”. That, of course, is just speculation, and may never have happened. Anyway, that was for all the “unfortunates” or “currently disadvantaged” out there that can’t watch movies, or “moving pictures” on their computers. Shame. For the rest of you I have the video. I’ve watched it about thirty times. Sometime it looks like the shoe gets closer but it never hits, unfortunately. Phenomenal! I quite enjoyed that. To Bush’s credit, he did have this to say afterward, “If you want the facts, it's a size 10 shoe that he threw.” Well recovered. Thanks Muntadar. |
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Written by Nash
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Monday, 15 December 2008 00:00 |
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because I want you to have a good life. Darling, this just in. Heartthrob, band manager, shitty golfer and all round nice guy Bunz has given me three double tickets to the Assembly gig this Thursday, the 18th. 
(click for bigger pic) All you need to do to get your name, plus one, on the list for jacSharp & PLUSH this Thursday at Assembly, is email your full name and the answer to the question below, to me –
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Question: How many members do jacSharp and PLUSH share? (clue: check the previous post) That is, like, so easy. jacSharp will also be launching their new album, an essential item for this summer. You need to get it. The album will be available at the door, so bring extra cash. Competition line... opens… NOW! |
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Written by Nash
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Wednesday, 10 December 2008 00:00 |
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ugly people try to stop everyone else having fun. Last night, at the Miss University London final, ugly protester tried to make everyone taking part feel bad about being good looking. In an attempt to make ridiculously attractive people feel guilty for being born that way, a bunch of mingers made banners and placards with slogans like “NO TO SEXISM”, “BEAUTY IS NOT SKIN DEEP”, “OUR BODIES ARE NOT FOR SALE” and "BLAH BLAH BLOODY BLAH", then blockaded the entrance to the club, inside which the final was taking place. It didn’t work and all the belters had a great time. Most of them had a real good laugh, a bit much to drink, then went home for hot, sweaty sex with an equally good looking person with shapely legs and a flat stomach. No one is really sure what the ugly people did after their failed protest. Though most believe they went to KFC and stuffed themselves with comfort food, before going home and furiously wanking to the image of a really good looking person. The finalists.  The protesters. 
I can’t quite tell, but the one second from the right might not be that bad? Besides her… Nuff said. |
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Written by Nash
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Wednesday, 12 November 2008 00:00 |
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adding fuel to the “Luke is a fucknut” fire. I do realise my choice of headline may have some sexual ambiguity attached to it, but I’m fine with that. I’m fine with Google searches for “Luke Watson” resulting in headlines alluding to Puke tossing off to images of his old man (Cheeky) giving the rugby bosses sloppy blowjobs under the goal posts. Especially after the latest instalment to the Puke Watson Saga. I may have missed an episode, but I’m pretty sure we are on Chapter 6. All charges against Luke Watson have been dropped, due to technicalities. Technicalities that most likely involved very expensive lawyers and the dishing out of a few free blowjobs. Obviously Luke was quite chuffed he got off, though he did say he new the charges would never stand. He had a bit more to say, not very well I might add. His father/lawyers really need to write easier “speeches” for him. He does seem battle with any word containing more than two syllables. Have a listen. He has also “made himself available” to play for South Africa again, just not under the Springbok emblem. “In terms of my principles I won’t be able to play under the Springbok as national emblem. If there is a national emblem that represents everybody, I will play for South Africa with pride, honour and dignity.” Ya, “your principles” and the fact that you would probably be taken out by your own team mates if you ever played for the Boks again. Personally I think he would be happy playing under the emblem of a cock. Not the French cock (male chicken), the penis sort of cock, but an ugly one. I think it’s an emblem that best resembles what he is, and what people believe he is. Well, those are just my thoughts on the matter. I wouldn’t take them too seriously. I admit they might be slightly bias against Luke, and for running him, blindfolded, off a cliff. Use them, don’t use them. |
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Written by Nash
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Wednesday, 05 November 2008 00:00 |
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halle-fucking-lujah! 
You will no doubt be bombarded with US Election stuff today. The world is currently experiencing a massive orgasm, and I don’t need to add to it. Barak Obama is now President of the United States of America, and I couldn’t be happier, but I’m not going to bother repeating everything you have already heard, or will hear. Instead I’ll give you the facts. Obama took McCain to the cleaners. He absolutely THRASHED McCain. Have a look.  Beautiful! Perhaps Obama will help make Americans not quite so fucking annoying. Hopefully. |
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