The Weekend According to my Stomach

The Weekend According to my Stomach

I put a substantial amount of food inside of me this weekend. I’ve been doing this a lot recently, eating my way through my off days. There’s an emotional side to it, like a man on death row getting in what he can before the executioner pulls the lever on the weekend and he falls through the trap door into Monday.

So here are a few things to put in your face. Some new, some not, all good.

Let’s kick things off at Kloof Street House. I’ve been meaning to tell you about their Wagyu burger for a while. I’m not going to pussyfoot around this. Theirs is one of the best burgers in Cape Town. I’m no foodie, but I do have my honours in Burger, and this guy is up there. Stop fucking around, get there and get one before they take it off the menu.

Double check your booking, over weekends they often ‘confuse’ things. Find a corner table, the general crowd can be a bit wanky.

Next up is El Burro’s Taqueria. I gave it a go for the first time on Saturday. I wasn’t really expecting much, except for it to be as amazing as El Burro, which it was. The food is great, all of it, but the fried fish taco is your guy. It’s just booted San Julian’s fish taco off the top of the pile.

No booze license yet, but you can grab what you need from the bottle store across the road.

Saturday’s late night eating was done at House Of Machines, where 1am hot dogs are king. The truffle toasted sandwich on rye is not to be laughed at, but when you’re a few gins down The Labrador hot dog is the one to go for. It looks like a pile of grated cheese when it arrives, but if you dig deep you’ll find dog.

Bring lots of money and prepare to stand in the loo queue for a while.

On Sunday Cape Town was playing a rad game of Guess What’s Open. You know, the funny little game so many restaurants here play where you have to guess if they’re or open and serving, or just open, or serving but only through their third side window on a Sunday between 3pm and 3:30pm.

So after briefly watching parking drivers repeatedly bump into stationary cars out front we bounced from The Winchester, because they were only serving brunch at R300/pp, to La Perla which was closed, to Primi – a choice made in the midst of a starvation migraine. We forced our way through breakfast, killing time before La Perla opened up to take our money.

We moved on to the beach road, secured our spot on the couches, and waited for the rest to join. You can eat anything at La Perla, just make sure it’s seafood. Actually, the meat isn’t bad, but when in Rome, or seated in the sun looking across the Atlantic, the seafood platters are best. Also, seafood goes best with the 13 Aperol Spritz bowls you’ll be drinking.

Once you sober up enough to eat again, some time during the Sunday night movie, you’ll need something delicious and quick to finish off the weekend. Delivery is your only option now, so go for Oishi Sushi. I’ve been using them for a while now and if you’re in the city, these dudes are hard to beat. They usually deliver within 45min, no matter when you order, and although a lot of the options are a little over the top, all are delicious. Plus they have Magnums on the menu.

There you go. Food to eat. Places to go. Things to drink.

Sweet Deals

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