To Speedo Or Not To Speedo

This whole getting healthy thing isn’t quite as simple as you would think. It’s not all about working out and eating right. It’s also about picking the right thing to wear. Now, when it comes to actual gym attire, you could confuse mine with that of a low cost handman. I wear the same clothes to gym that I wear when working around the house or garden. I’m not too fussed about that. A sweaty shirt is a sweaty shirt. What I am concerned about though, is what I am going to wear around the pool. I plan to substitute most of the machines and small bike seats for the the water. Firstly, because it’s kind of like being outside (if you really think about it), and secondly, I’m still strengthening my back after the great operation of early ’12. Plus the girlfriend is doing a lot of swimming and she’s promised to teach me how to do a tumble-turn. So back to my issue, things have changed since I was at school. It seems the standard Speedo isn’t the only option anymore. There is so much to consider, so much to take into account if I want to look as cool as these dudes while in and around the pool.

These dudes, nailing the Speedo vibe.

(more)

I’ve done a bit of research into the matter. These seem to be the general offerings when it comes to men’s swimwear.

Obviously the long boardshorts are out, but what about the ones on the far left? I’ve got a few pairs, and I wouldn’t mind swimming in those, I mean, I’m not going for records here, and the extra drag may help with fitness. Or are they a gym pool no-no? I have no idea. The tight shorts have been suggested, but I’m not sure I trust those. I’m not French, and I prefer the company of a woman. If I have to go tight I think I’d be more comfortable sticking with what I know, the good old Speedo. As you can see, I’m pretty relaxed in one.

Unfortunately I don’t have that one anymore, I have since finished school, but I’m pretty sure I could pick another up if need be. There are of course a few other options now days. The trick is picking one that makes the right statement, for you. Are you there to break your PBs, pick up chicks, pick up dudes, learn to swim or show off to the gym (seeing as every pool is basically the visual focal point no matter what you are doing). What do you want people to say about you as warm up poolside, your privatest of privates squashed up against your abdomen, informing everyone of your religion. Does one of the options below say what you are wanting to?

I’m pretty sure the last one is a girls costume and not a mens ‘vintage’ style, as it is described. It is though, besides the long tight shorts, the least offensive option in male swimwear, and that is saying a lot. Anyway, after looking at the options and what each one says, I’m not sure I want to be saying anything anymore. Perhaps the Speedo – the very thing you all said was so gross (on Twitter last night), is by far the best option. I can’t really see me in a package cradling g-string, and the full suit looks like a bit of a mission.

Nash…
Out.