Do You Show Your Current, Your Ex?

It’s been a while since we’ve looked at the difference between boys and girls. I think it’s time. The other day The Presenter asked, quite calmly I may add, if I could show her what my ex’s looked like. I responded, far from calmly, ‘uh….I don’t think so’. Guys, as it stands, have very little in the way of emotional radar, but this sort of thing is the one kind of bogey that our scanners can pick up. ‘CODE RED! CODE RED! EVADE APPROACHING QUESTION IMMEDIATELY! TAKE EVASIVE ACTION!’ No calculation our lizard brains can come up with ever equals a result that’s worth perusing through photos of relationships past, with your current love interest. I think girls know this, so why do they ask it of boys?

'So you're saying you slept with THAT girl?'

(more boys vs girls after the jump)

It seems safe enough. I mean, you did break up with the girl(s). You no longer speak to them. It’s over. What could a little trip down Memory Lane do? I mean, she did want to see them. Again the early warning system kicks in. ‘IMMANENT COUCH STAY APPROACHING!’ PULL OUT! PULL OUT!’ It’s NEVER safe. It doesn’t matter what your ex looks like. She could be ugly as sin or the hottest girl you have been with, the result will always be the same. No loving for you.

'Look at us, just browsing through your sexual conquests. Look how fine I am with it. JUST WAIT TILL WE GET HOME YOU BASTARD!'

If she’s ugly (and most of them will be – according to your new lady) your squeeze will be wondering what the hell you were doing with her. Why you settled for such a minger. ‘I mean, LOOK at what she is wearing!’ Questions. Millions of them. That’s what goes through your girls head. Scenarios and questions. ‘What happened before this photo was taken? Did they leave from the same house? Were they living together? Were they as happy as we are? Did she cook as well as me? What if she was a better cook!? Oh my god! She was a better cook! What happened after the pic. Did they have sex? But she’s so ugly! Maybe she was good in bed, THAT’S why they were together. Am I good in bed? Oh my god! I need to get a Cosmo asap and try some new positions.’ If she’s hot, it’s the same. But with an inner burning hatred that you can feel emanating from her body.

'Which one is she! WHICH ONE! The one in the white shorts. Has to be. What if it's not her. OMG I can't even cook!'

You see, the problem with this sort of thing goes far beyond what guys imagine when we see a picture of a girls ex, ‘I wonder if he had a bigger dick than me’. The ‘was he better in bed’ question never enters our head, because, quite obviously, we are the best this girl has ever had. Some guys wonder about money, but that’s pretty daft. And I was recently told, by The Presenter, that her ex said to her, upon finding out who I was ‘I can’t believe you chose a short guy’. HA! Amazing! I suppose that matters, to tall guys. I’ve been short my whole life, so I never wonder if a girl was with a taller dude, the answer is most likely ‘yes’.

Guys just don’t go there. Perhaps it’s because we are notoriously bad at dealing with anything emotional. It’s far easier to just pretend the past didn’t happen than sit at a computer while your girl shows you exactly what did happen…behind closed doors. Because, let’s be honest, that is all we care about. Being better than the last guy. In that area. Sure there are others, but that’s the one that counts. Girls want to be better, at EVERYTHING. Denial for us, is a far safe route. This is now, the past has gone. Oh look, there’s a game on TV.

It seems though, that girls have a burning need to have a look into a guys past. To compare. I posted something on tweeder about it and the response was amazing. Every single dude said ‘BAD IDEA’, a few girls said the same, but most confessed to ex stalking – the second reason, behind ‘hooking up’, for Facebook’s creation. Some to the extreme. I can honestly say I have never ex stalked. Why do girls want to? What is your need to see our pasts?

'Just sitting here stalking my boyfriends ex's, completely blown away by the fact that I've upset myself. Again. You?'

Of course my ‘no’ meant nothing to The Presenter, as yours will mean nothing to your current squeeze, which is why I’m grateful for Facestalks ‘limited’ profile option. She hasn’t managed to stalk any yet, much to her annoyance, and much to my piece of mind and security of a safe and tranquil living environment absent of double edged questions.

Girls, tell us, why the need to check out our ex’s? Guys, do you want to know about your birds ex?

Nash…
Out.

Check out some of the other Boys vs Girls discussions.