This Is How The World Will End: The Vostok Expedition

I’m absolutely fascinated with the Vostok story. Basically Vostok is the third largest lake in the world. Why have you not heard of it then? Well, it’s situated under two miles of antarctic ice. It hasn’t seen light for more than 20 million years, most of the water in the lake is at least a few million years old. So why is this trapped lake so interesting? The Russians are literally days away from reaching it – and they’ve been drilling for close on TWENTY years. Of course, when they reach it, it’s the beginning of the end of our civilistion.

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While it is an amazing scientific adventure, I’m quite certain that the eventual breakthrough, the point at which the Russian drill breaks through the ice and opens us up to a world untouched for millennia, will spell our doom. Why am I being such a Negative Nancy? I’m not, but if any of the 2012 prophecies of doom are to come true, Vostok holds their best chances.

Just think about it. Scientists are confident they will find some sort of life down there, perhaps even particles from other moons or outer space. This opens up all sorts of biological questions. Super viruses, aliens, body snatching parasites. I’ve watched X Files. And what about aliens? Has no one seen Alien vs. Predator? Or that dragon movie with Christian Bale and Matthew MgggaaghhuUGHgany? Ja, it’s cold up there, but the water is trapped between the hot surface of the earth and the massive ice cap – it’s being heated from the bottom, by malten lava, just below the earths surface – prime dragon scenario.

Then of course there is this concern, “Vostok, which is about the size of New Jersey, is the world’s third-largest lake by volume of water. The gas in the lake makes it like a can of carbonated soda: Open it under high pressure, and it will spurt out. The doomsday scenario for the Russian breakthrough would be if the suddenly released water shot up the borehole, which is six to eight inches in diameter at the top. The result, he said, could be an enormous geyser that could empty a quarter of the lake. The sudden addition of substantial water vapor to the antarctic atmosphere could change the continent’s weather in unpredictable ways.” Some say that’s slightly more believable, but then again, have the scientists ever seen that movie – they find dragons in a mine, a MINE! that’s not even half as cool as an untouched lake.

Look, either way, something is going to break out of that lake. A dormant Zombie strain, dinosaurs, aliens, Michael Jackson, something is coming out, and it’s probably going to kick off this whole end of the world 2012 thing. I’m not trying to scare you. I’m just saying. Be prepared.

Nash…
Out.

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